


Facing the Hidden

by Alicethebluepheonix



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Some Humor, of course with these guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9351152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicethebluepheonix/pseuds/Alicethebluepheonix
Summary: Johnathan Dennis a.k.a H2O Delirious has always hidden from everyone, including his friends. Maybe . . . maybe its time now to face the truth. He doesn't have to be alone when he does it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of a play-write style. This is my first work here. Let me know if i should do more or if i should quite while i'm ahead. :) Hope you like.

Jonathan signed off his computer. It was nearly 1 am and he wasn't even tired. I guess this is what happens when this is your life you never went to sleep or when to wake up, John thought to himself. He let out a sigh before getting up to put his headset away and settle into bed. He laid there for two hours, before he came to the conclusion that sleep just wasn't going to happen.It was time for a walk or maybe Luke was awake. He shot a quick text to Luke then went to shower and dress. His phone was buzzing when he got out the shower. He rushed to pick it up.  
John-Hello  
Luke-Hey, you can't sleep either?  
John= nope. 

He sighed into the phone. 

Luke- Well, i’m up too. Might as well stay up together.  
John-alright, i’ll be around in five  
Luke- see you then.

John hung up the phone. He decided that he would take his sports car, a royal blue mustang, which he hardly ever drove, and hurried over to Luke’s house. He knocked on his door in a more rushed manner than needed.  
Luke- dude, are you alright.? The way you knocked on the door made me think you were in trouble.  
Jon-Sorry . .. no i'm fine. Didn't mean to worry you.  
Luke- you know you can't pull that crap, with your life john you scared the absolute shit out of me.  
John- *giggles* i'm sorry . . . really.  
Luke- *walking to the kitchen* would you like a drink?  
John- well what else would i be here for?  
Luke-Mortal Kombat X  
John- haha no i been playing video games all day i finally got off two hours ago and i just .. . . there's something . . .i couldn't sleep.  
Luke- what's nagging you then cause obviously there's something. You only stutter that much when you're playing a game with the guys.  
John- . . .  
Luke-Jonathan, , , if something is bothering you i need to know so i can help. I rather not have repeat of how bad things were with your old life and that's exactly what that is your old life. Now tell me whats wrong.*handing him a beer and sitting in the chair near him*  
John- it doesn't have to do with my old life it has to do with this one. *sipping the beer*  
Luke- then what's wrong.  
John- well it's almost Christmas and i kind of want to do a face reveal . . . as like . . a Christmas present.  
Luke- Alright well what's the problem then.  
John- i don't know if i want to show the subscribers cause there's going to be questions and i'm not ready for that.  
Luke- sooooooo . . .you want to show the guys?  
John- yeah.but . . . *sipping his beer and biting his lip*  
Luke - ...what?  
John- i want to do it in person.  
Luke- if that's what you want then awesome but you have to understand your not gonna be able to turn off your computer screen and dodge all the things you don't want to face. Cause this is real.  
John- i know that's why i've been so hesitant. But yeah. I want this. Will you help me?  
Luke- course man i got your back. Always.

And so they made it through Christmas and then it was planning time. Luke mostly offered his house as a place for some of them to sleep of delirious places wasn't big enough. He also kept Jonathan from backing out. The rest was up to John he just needed to invite the guys. He was going to do it tonight while playing GTA V. It was perfect because Vanoss wanted everyone to play as a sort of holiday special for the subscribers. They made it through the game play and stopped there recording realizing they all had plenty of clips for the video. That's when Vanoss piped up.  
Vanoss- Delirious you're being awfully quiet.  
Wildcat- yeah you usually have said something stupid by now.  
Moo- he's probably about to kill you for that Tyler  
Delirious- I'm . . . alright.  
Mini- you don't sound alright.  
Lui- *squeaker* delirious whats wrong?  
Delirious- guys really its nothing i just have a question for everyone, actually hold on can we get everyone in the skype call . . . only.  
Vanoss- um sure but-  
Delirious- please just do it before i back out of this.

So everyone shut off GTA and invited whoever was missing to the call. They hoped skype didnt break from the amount of people in it. It was Vanoss, wildcat, marcel, Brock. mini, ohm, bryce, lui, terroriser and nogla.  
Vanoss- Alright. We are all here whats up?  
Bryce- i'm worried. are you dying?  
Marcel- do you have cancer?  
Delirious- No. shut up. Sssshhhhh.  
Wildcat- then what is it?  
Delirious- i just wanted to know if you guys wanted to come over my house?  
Vanoss- wait are you serious?  
Delirious- yes and i need a answer before i freak out and change my mind.  
Everyone- Hell yes!!!!!!!!  
And so the wait begins. The guys were hyped the only time they didn't talk about it was while recording the subscribers did not need to know. Jonathan was nervous with both anxiety and excitement. It didn't take time for the days to pass. Soon it was the day of his friends arrival. Luke had called him to make sure he hadn't overslept or just run away. He got up and showered. Then tossed on his real delirious shirt and famous blue hoodie which was a much darker blue in real life and a pair of skinny jeans. He stopped in front of the mirror and tried to dry his jet black hair a bit. Witch left it sticking up in all directions, he's never been able to fix that however he's been told it suits him. He studied himself a bit looking at the scar over left eyebrow leading to his deep blue eyes which people often thought were contacts, He looked at the rest of his face but his eyes always returned to the scar. A constant reminder of what his life used to be like. He adjusted his hoodie trying to cover up the tattoo creeping up his neck and headed downstairs. He was met with a Luke about to knock on his door. Luke asked if he was okay. It took Jonathan a while but he nodded as put his sunglasses on. Luke was headed to the airport to pick up the first set of people while john went to the store to pick of snack food.  
The first to arrive was David, Craig, Bryce, Even and Lui. Luke was dropping the guys off at John’s house with the spare keys then headed back out 30 minutes later to pick up Tyler, Brian, Marcel, Ryan, and Brock. After fawning over how nice his house was, the guys were all settled in flipping through the tv channels and chatting about what Delirious would look like. Luke shot a quick text to John alerting him the guys were all here and waiting on him. John sent back a quick okay and asked him to open the door for him. The guys stopped their conversations when Luke went to open the door and was met with a Jonathan juggling 15 pizzas and five bags of groceries.  
Luke- well damn!  
John- could you get the rest out of the car please and thank you. *rushing into the kitchen* Hello by the way.  
Luke- *yelling from outside* do you want me to lock the car?!  
John- yup! *Luke joins him in the kitchen*  
Luke- you're welcome, bitch. *throwing the keys at john somewhere out of view for the guys*  
John- whatever. Guys come grab a pizza if you want. 

Grabbing his own pizza kicking off his shoes and sitting between Craig and Even on the sofa. Everyone was still for a moment till Nogla got up to get a pizza. Leading the others to get up and get there's. Everyone was silently eating their pizza. It was getting to weird for John.  
John- alright why is everyone so quiet? You guys never shut up.  
Craig- to be honest it all kind of surreal.  
Vanoss-yeah it's been like . . . five years, of video games and skype calls and that's it . . .  
Tyler- i sort of forget dude, we sort of forget you sound different you know . . . not … well with a mic.  
Marcel- it's still freakin awesome tho.  
Everyone- totally  
John- . . . *leaning forward biting his pizza*  
Evan- you have a tattoo?  
John- yeah.  
Craig- i wanna see.

John moved his pizza to the coffee table and stood up and walked out of the room. Putting his jacket down before returning to the room and lifting his shirt up to reveal a dragon spiraling up his back to his neck and down his right arm stopping just before his wrist.  
Nogla- gosh darn it i feel like everyone has muscles except me.  
Lui- that's okay that's why you're the tallest.  
Craig- delirious almost beat you on that one but luckily you beat him by a inch.

John who now had his earbuds in listening to Joker’s song by miracle of sound on the lowes volume so to still here is friends. Listened to his friends chat occasionally joining in while they finished off the pizza and he set up the video games. The night turned into laughing and the general stupidity that came with there game play. Till it was nearly 10.  
Evan- hey, delirious how did you get the battle scar.  
Tyler- he probably fell out of a tree.  
Craig- shut up Tyler i want to know.  
The bickering turned into a name calling fight. Before Luke popped up realizing that this was a sensitive reason for more than one reason and tell their friends hush.  
John- Luke, it's fine. No running remember. If you must know i got it from my dad.  
Delirious said without taking his face off of the game at hand.  
Marcel- damn.  
Tyler- i'm sorry dude.  
John-it’s fine.

The guys stopped, feeling guilty about the obviously painful subject they brought up. The silence was killing John. He stood up turning off the console and turned to Luke.  
John- alright, this is what i was worried about might as well get it out, Luke break out the beer its story time.  
Luke- you sure.  
John- yup, everyone get comfortable or don't it's up to you but if you stay, if you listen you might see me differently i really hope you don't but you might.  
Vanoss- nah man i don't think it will change.  
Marcel- i got your back even though i'm a jerk sometimes.

The guys help Luke pull out the pillows and blankets making a soft palette on the ground. Everyone got into their comfortable positions and helped pass out the beer while John changed into his teddy bear PJs and grabbed one of his many teddy bears before heading back downstairs and sitting on the couch surrounded by everyone. With waiting looks filled with uncertainty.  
John- alright *swallowing nervously* before i start anyone have any quick questions they want out of the way.  
Everyone-No  
John- and you're sure you want to hear this?  
Everyone- Yes.  
Craig- actually i have a question . . why are you so cute.  
Tyler-Shut the fuck up mini! Let him tell his story.  
John- *giggling* Anyway my life was pretty much like most people's. Up until fourth grade that's when my dad started acting strange. It wasn't like he was cheating or sneaking around with other people it was just out of the blue at least that's what it looked like from my view. I'd do things normal everyday things go outside and play with people or invite them over. For some reason he would always look at me like something wasn't right. He did it to my sister to but it was always in a proud way and she was never really home to notice anyway. I took the risk of asking if i did something wrong one day and h just looked at me and smiled and said i was fine. *pausing and staring at nothing* it went on till sixth grade and i started growing and said i wasn't his son anymore it was like as soon as i didn't look like the little child he was used to he disowned me. My sister noticed a little at a time but he started going to work so i only had to deal with him when he got home. My mom had no idea until she went away to visit her parents-  
David- how did she not notice.  
Lui- RIGHT!  
John- well he's always at work and i told her and she sort of brushed it off. I mean it didn't take her that long after because she went away for a month and came and realized how skinny i was cause he wouldn't feed me. She asked him why i hadn’t been fed and he just said he didn't have a son. She wanted to get him to a doctor and she tried to keep me away from him as much as possible. Sarah was already doing a grand job at that staying at friends houses as much as possible. I tried that but there's only so many times you can go over a guys house before there mom thinks you're messing with their on in a sexual manner. For some reason. Anyway . . . .*sighing* Sixth grade wasn't so bad after mom realized what was going on. But after it was over and summer rolled around all my friends had moved away and i had nowhere to go but sit in my room and play video games. My dad got laid off and my mom started working she really didn't want to. She was scared to leave me home with him she told me if there was anyway for me to get out of the house then take it. There wasn't but. . . . she tried. It was fine honestly he left me alone cause i “did not exist” then i got hungry i went downstairs to get some milk cause that was the quickest and i could take it back to my room as quick as possible. However in my rush i spilled the milk which made a noise and my dad came running to see and he sort of stared . . through . . me … and i'm just standing there covered in milk. I told him i was sorry and he ask me who i was and kick me out of the house literally me and my middle school body was literally airborne *nervous giggle* i broke my hand trying to catch myself on the driveway. Of course i cried and my mom came home and she freak out and she took me to the hospital. She told me she’d give him one more chance and then he was out. She stayed home for bit. She tried to bring it up to him but it was like he didn't remember any of it. She couldn’t even argue with him about it. Couldn’t kick him out because of it. Eventually she had to go back to work and i just tried to avoid him which meant i didn't eat till mom was home. It sucked cause she loved both of use and it was like fate was making her choose. Eventually it just got worse. He basically tried to hit me out of existence as if it would make whatever he was thinking come true.  
Evan- dude that sucks.

Everyone had a solemn look on there faces.  
Marcel- This is only middle school i'm scared to ask but what happened after?  
Evan- how bad was your dad . . . to you?  
John- well let's just say what kind of stuff would you do if there was someone you didn't know in your house and you felt threatened by them. He pointed a gun at me and shot me in the leg but i think him trying to put me in a hot oven was the worse cause my mom came home and saw him pushing me into it and she started screaming . . . *cringe*  
Tyler- Jesus dude.  
Brian- what the fuck.  
Brock- please tell me they divorced after that.  
John- she tried but he claimed he did nothing wrong and it simply didn’t happen. I mean middle school sucked basically for the rest of the time.*zoning out and taking a swig of beer*.  
Brian- i'm hoping and guessing it got better after you got to high school. *forced smile*  
John-*shaking his head* nope got a lot worse. But it was more on my end. Luke and my sister started dating so that's a good thing.  
Luke- your sister was so fine.  
John- Shut up Luke shush the fuck up.  
Luke- my bad . . .but she is though.  
John- ssssshhhhh. . . .sshhh!  
Luke- are you going to tell them the rest. Cause i know that's still a new wound and you might not want to . . . go there.  
John- yeah  
Evan- you don't have to do that.  
Tyler- i kinda want to know  
Brian- Tyler!  
Tyler- what  
John- i don't . . . but i feel like if i get it out of my system and accept it maybe it’ll help but only if you guys are okay with it.

Tyler- when's the next time we’ll get to know this much about you *pause* exactly. Point made. Continue.

John- *sighing* Eventually my mom drove dad out it wasn't a legal divorce but she was just happy he wasn't around me anymore. *sigh* however the damage was done i was on anti-depressants and i stayed in my room anyway and i don't eat cause that's just what i was used to. I wasn't trying to hurt myself on purpose it was just a habit. She wanted me to see a therapist but i wanted to play video games I stopped talking and i had a lot of scars so it raised a lot of questions, so i stayed inside all day, I didn't need friends they all just left and my loved ones hurt me or ignored me so people didn't seem necessary. Unless they were a video game. Of course the issue of having no one to talk to is when you think to much you talk to yourself or in my case i talked to teddy bears.  
*looking and at Luke* but then Luke started coming over he didn't say anything he just joined my games and anything he wanted to know he asked me in chat. Then sophomore year . . . . i got “friends” and i wasn't home hardly at all i wouldn't be home for days at a time and i would miss tons of school. Whenever i came home i went straight to my room either to bed, or to shower, or my computer. . . . I was on drugs . . . hardcore everything that i could get my hands on. Every allowance i got went to something new. . . *guilty look*  
Evan-*sad face* Everything?  
Luke- he means e v e r y t h i n g.  
John- heroin to cocaine to weed and just plain cigarettes. Even snort fucking powdered sugar. Don't do that by the way it hurts. Anyway i got wrapped up with the people who did the same. I got specifically tied to this girl named lilith she was russian, well she had a russian accent in the very least. She liked me and i was high. I wasn't really paying attention but we slept together a lot. Which is one of the first things that made my mom start asking questions cause i’d be gone for a night and i'd be a mess and i'd smell disgusting. Of course i just walked right past her. But we weren't a thing she took me to a drug house once and i was so gone and she just left me there. Luke came and got me.  
Luke-Yeah you scared all of us John, you were gone whole month, you sister and your mom were flipping out. So was i man. I thought you died or jumped off a bridge.  
John- im sorry . . . man i really am but i honestly don't remember much.

Everyone else was silent out of shock.

John- i just know that at the time nothing else mattered but drugs, needles and physical contact from anybody. I mean anybody. And i know i make gay jokes all the time and sometimes as an insult but i know for a fact i definitely been with a guy more times than i can remember, literally. The worse part is that part of me kind of miss all that. The only thing i don't miss is not being able to remember what happened the day before. . . .and my mom finding out. . . . she was so mad and she tried to yell at me and i sat there and took it and when she was done. I didn't yell back i just said “you think you have a right to be mad at me when i was the who was forgotten by his own dad. He didn't forget you. I'm not sorry for what i did or how much i disappointed you. It's my chance to do what i want and i chose this.” she looked at me and she cried and she begged me to stop and she hugged me and i didn't hug back. I passed high school with straight b’s and i stopped the drugs which wasn't that hard honestly. I hung out with Luke more and i considered college of course i ended up going to ecollege and i go out as little as possible because i get scared people are going to ask me questions and i'm just not ready to show that side of me yet. Is it side i'm more concerned about what my subscribers think of me over my own mother?*nervous scoff*  
Tyler- A little . . .well  
Luke- it is you life now so maybe not.  
Craig- Come here you *going over to hug delirious*  
Everyone joined in on the hug until John said something about the desire for physical contact hasnt gone away even after all these years and that they should proably get off of him before he ‘gets off’ Most back off craig and Evan stayed near by.  
Luke- how do you feel?  
John- honestly. Better.  
Tyler- it fuckin sucks that that happened to you dude


End file.
